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Longview Outback League Match Ups Week 1
By Jeff | September 9, 2007
As Commissioner of the Longview Outback League, I try to write match up reports each week explaining how I think things are going to go down for the teams involved. Of course, I always think I will win. I use the report to do a little trash talking and to make fun of the other teams as needed. I decided to include the reports here on my website this year to share with you what is going on throughout the season. Feel free to laugh with me and join me this season as I defend my championship and attempt to become our league’s first back-to-back champion.
Week 1 Match ups Report
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Initiation (Part I)
SuperstarZ vs. Teabaggers – This is what I like to call a little rookie initiation. There’s no need to get excited about this game as the SuperstarZ get welcomed into the league via a nice big fat teabag (or at least he calls it big and fat but I’m not one to require proof.) This is probably going to be the blowout of the week as the Teabaggers take care of biz-nass! Teabaggers win big. The League Website’s GURU prediction: 73 – 95, baggers by 22.
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Initiation (Part 2)
WickedEVILballas vs. The Reapers – This is the other game between a rookie coach and a veteran. The ballas will be able to ride the coat tails of LaDainian Tomlinson all the way to victory as The Reapers were unable to draft well enough to counter that kind of power punch. Yeah, welcome to the league – biatch! The ballas will be able to easily handle this team and will keep the rookies winless early in the season. The League Website’s GURU prediction: 100 – 89, ballas by 11.
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Horseshoes and Hand Grenades
Rattlesnakes vs. Crusaders – This game gets my vote for the closest match up of the week (regardless of what the website predicts.) On paper, these teams are fairly evenly matched. Now of course, we now know how
VS (No Logo)
Is it Naptime?
Comeback Kidz vs. Howie’s Quack Attack – This is a match up that nobody cares about except for the ones actually playing the game. We have the Kidz with major RB issues unless Adrian Peterson takes over the starting job and stays healthy. Then we have the Quackers who don’t even have a logo and who got hurt pretty bad with Drew Brees as their QB (not to mention that the Kidz have Peyton Manning). The good news is that the Quackers will more than make up their deficiency with solid RBs and solid WRs that will help them complete the comeback over the Comeback Kidz. I know the Kidz are trying to keep it real but they could be in real trouble. Quackers win this sleeper. The League Website’s GURU prediction: 83 – 89, Quackers by 6.
VS 
GAME OF THE WEEK:
ThinkBox Thunder vs. Team I Totally Suck – This is going to be the most boring Game of the Week this year, even if the website has it as the closest contest, as we have the defending champs (me) going up against the perennial doormats. Okay, maybe not perennial, but I do know that whenever we play against each other I win. I mean, I even caused him to change his team name. Enough said. The Thunder will roll pretty easily behind stud RB Steven Jackson and will start the season the same way they ended the last – with a victory! The League Website’s GURU prediction: 91-89, Thunder by 2.
Topics: Longview Outback League, trash talking |
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