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Static ThinkBox Learns How to Keep it Gangsta
By Jeff | November 7, 2007
Wow! Thanks to my good friend Jason, I was led to a site that I desperately needed. For I, yes I know it may be hard for you to believe, was having some difficulty keeping it gangsta. Fo’ real!
Aside from the color of my pale skin, my wanna-be Vanilla Ice dance rhythm, and my suburban vernacular, I was somehow unable to successfully get down to what I like to call my ghetto-fabulous ways. Don’t let my “White and Nerdy” exterior fool you. I’ve been known to bust out a rhyme, break it down a time or two, and even George Jefferson it all across town. However, recently, I feel like my fake (and non-existent) African roots have been forgotten (or is that never manifested - anyway). That is, until now.
It’s time to Gizoogle it! H to the Double L to the Yeah! I finally feel whole again. I can remain in this white suburban life I lead, yet, keep it ghetto-gangsta-real at the same time. Gizoogle, you complete me! (C’mon, you know that’s funny.)
Just so you know how great this is, below is one of my recent posts in what I like to call Snoop Dogg Speech!
Did you see it? That’s rizzight . Freak y’all, into the beat y’all! I’m batt’n 1000 n rhymin’ it dizzle wit anotha boy. Yes, I’ve trained mah shawty boi sperms ta swim supa-fast. Don’t ask me how, coz if you’re a real dawg - you already know.
So wit thiznat out of tha way, we now tizzy our attention ta tha name aww nah. As previously mentioned, as agreed wit mah wife, I have tha honor of tha middle name while she gets tha fizzay name. My wife had tha middle nizzle n I had tha first name of our fizzirst son, so it’s jizzle fizzle ta reverse tha roles this tizzy.
Oh man, that’s greatness. I tell you this, there is nothing funnier than a white man reading his blog in ebonics. Have I mentioned that I’m an idiot. I think that I have. Regardless, I hope you are able to enjoy this site as much as I have. And always remember, keep the pimp hand strong… bizzle dizzle jizzle. Fo’ real playa!
Topics: Gizoogle, ebonics, ghetto fabulous, keep it real, keepin it gangsta |
November 8th, 2007 at 9:07 am
My favorite sentence: “My wife had tha middle nizzle n I had tha first name of our fizzirst son, so it’s jizzle fizzle ta reverse tha roles this tizzy.” That’s just funny.
I seriously didn’t know your African roots were fake. I thought you had a ghetto soul.
November 8th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
Let me quote Doc Holiday from the movie Tombstone in saying, “My hypocrisy goes only so far.” I just can’t truly say I have African roots. I think they’re Italian or German - not sure.