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No Arms and No Legs
By Jeff | January 19, 2008
You can thank a very “special” co-worker for this post. She is just a “special” person. Not really that kind of special, or even the other kind of special that you might be thinking. I just think she’s “special”. Anyway, she provided me with a series of jokes based upon the names of people. The basic premise is that you ask someone, “What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ____________?” I put the answer in bold and right justified for each phrase.
Well, I kind of made fun of her so I need your help in either supporting my efforts to humiliate or supporting her sense of humor. It’s up to you.
So allow me to not take any more of your time than I already have.
What do you call a person with no arms and no legs…
between two buildings?
ALI
who loosens hex screws?
ALLEN
on a tennis court?
ANNETTE
on your living room wall?
ART
on two wheels?
AXEL
stuck in a fence?
BARB
in your fireplace?
BERNIE
in your mailbox?
BILL
in the ocean?
BOB
in a stream?
BROOKE
in a bank?
BUCK
who is foaming at the mouth?
BUD
in a bag?
CARRIE
who has no head?
CHESTER
who is on the edge of the green?
CHIP
put through a meat grinder?
CHUCK
two men with no arms and no legs in a window?
CURT N’ ROD
in a tiger cage?
CLAUDE
hanging from a chandelier?
CRYSTAL
in your kitchen sink?
DAWN
covered with oil?
DEREK
buried six feet under?
DOUG
buried three feet under?
DOUGLAS
when you push his head under water?
DUNCAN
under a bed?
DUSTY
in a bathtub?
DWAYNE
in a sewer?
FLO
on your barbecue?
FRANK
under a microscope?
GENE
in your spice rack?
HERB
flying over a fence?
HOMER
under a car?
JACK
in a coffee cup?
JOE
in the men’s room?
JOHN
under a steamroller?
LANE
floating on a pond?
LILY
on a piece of paper?
MARK
on your front door step?
MATT
on a stage?
MIKE
who is shaving?
NICK
in a frying pan?
PAM
between two slices of bread?
PATTY
holding a coat?
PEG
who feels practically worthless?
PENNY
in a hole?
PHIL
lying beside a carnival ride?
RALPH
who is covered with sauerkraut?
REUBEN
with a history of wheelchair collisions?
REX
in a bank vault?
RICH
covered with cement?
ROCK
who has been struck by lightning?
ROD
on a hill?
ROLAND
in a vase?
ROSE
in a pile of leaves?
RUSSELL
on a beach?
SANDY
who is an electrician?
SPARKY
in the end zone?
SPIKE
being cooked by cannibals?
STU
in a lingerie drawer?
TEDDY
who gets left behind in a restaurant?
TIP
on the President’s desk?
VITO
given to you by a deceased uncle?
WILL
in an arid desert?
WILT
So what do you think? Funny? Stupid? First Grade-ish? Or am I just an insensitive jerk with nothing better to do with my time?
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Topics: joke, no arms no legs |
January 20th, 2008 at 12:51 am
Hmmm… Didn’t make me laugh. I didn’t feel it. I’ll Zoom it…but I’ll be ashamed of myself in the morning.
January 20th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Well, I pretty much knew that this kind of humor was beneath you. Nonetheless, was that a Zoom out of pity? Or better yet, should I feel ashamed that I even put a Zoom button on display?
Hmmmm….
January 20th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Hey Jeff and company, seems I’ve discovered the playground for Jason and his better half
Are you guys friends like in real life or just blogging?
Either way, nice blog, and the no arms, no legs is such a great old joke.
I of course love the Mike one, but Curt & Rod is hilarious
January 20th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
thanks for stopping by. I enjoyed your site!
Jason and I have been friends in real life for years. Over 10, I believe. He makes me laugh and I think I make him laugh. So yeah, I guess you could say we are real life and blogging friends.
Curt N Rod - yeah, that’s not bad. They are still stupid, but some do put a smile on my face and I guess, ultimately, that’s what they are for.
January 21st, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Nah Jeff, I would never Zoom out of pity. Just because I didn’t laugh doesn’t mean it didn’t make someone laugh…and making someone laugh deserves a Zoom (even if that someone is only Jeff).
By the way, I thought we promised to never tell people we were friends in real life. I mean, I made you promise to never tell. People weren’t supposed to know that I know you…or ever knew you… And now you’ve told.
OK, I’m just kidding. Jeff’s cool and I don’t care who knows.